Throbbing Insults

(The following posts title has been picked by Katie and will be written by Megan.) here we go

"Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me."  We have all heard this, Am I right?  These are true words of wisdom, however people who actually use these words are probably the ones who do get offended by hurtful words. Which I think is ironic. so if you want people to think you are offended SAY IT! I dare you.

Did you know there is a website that will insult you? for free! http://www.insult-o-matic.com/

I am not a person who takes things personally or is insulted easily. But who in the right mind would want to be insulted by a computer. You should probably find something better to do.

Yesterday I heard something which I found incredibly funny. On TV they were interviewing Selena Gomez and about half way through the program the interviewer brought up death threats.  And my first thought was, "who could dislike Solena Gomez?"  I think she is adorable! Anyway I found out the death threats were coming from 14 year-old girls who thought they would date Justin Bieber.  How comical is this? I guess it is comical because I dreamed of the same thing when I was 14.  I thought Nick Jonas was the next hottest thing to wearing your pajama pants to middle school, because it was "COOL." (luckily my dad never approved of this fashion trend, and wouldn't let me participate. which reminds me, I never thanked him.) 

One time I went to a "JO BRO" concert in the 9th grade and bought a t-shirt.  I will never forget the amount of mocking that came from each one of my siblings when I returned home. "how much did you pay for that?  Do you know it probably costs only 2 dollars to make that and you just paid 40 for it!"  It was like they were truly disappointed in me. They knew I fell deep into the trap of 14 year-old infatuation for a boy who wore skinny jeans. (this was when only "SK8R" boys wore skinny jeans" Luckily about after a week I came to my senses and realized there was no hope for me, sigh.

Obsessed with Obsessions

The best part about living with five other girls is learning new things that will make your life a bajillion times easier. It is exciting to learn there are other ways to do things. (other then the ways your family does them) like today I learned that you can cook a grilled cheese in a George foreman. No flipping required! Greatest thing ever right. Oh and my other roommate introduced me to coffee mate. (yes I read coffee and thought I could have nothing to do with it.) who knew it was just like the vanilla flavoring you add to hot chocolate from 7-11. This will for sure change my life for the better.

You also learn weird things about the female specimen, girls are the WIERDEST! I don't mean this in a rude way, because well I happen to be female and I rather like myself in a non narcissistic way. Over the past few days us gals have been talking because well that's what we do best, we GAB! And guess what every single one of us has obsessions, and many.

My latest obsession has been blogs. I have a confession, I may read blogs everyday the whole day at work. NBD When I’m not at work I’m usually in class, or something like that. This brings up my next obsession, my S.I. Instructor. (supplemental instruction.) If I attend SI it is just to see HIM. When I tell someone I am obsessed with him they first ask (excitedly of course) Is he cute? I then ponder my thoughts....”um not really” and then quickly remark “it is a strange attraction I guess, he is just so funny.” (it may also be because he is one of the few males who is an unmarried RM) I clearly have an obsession and the next step is to act on it. So that's just what I did. I went to S.I. Sat kinda in the front so that he could get a good look at me, if he wanted, of course. The next step, answer a question. So he asked a question on our upcoming test and nobody answered! I felt awkward for him and his quirky little self so I shot my hand up without even thinking. Luckily I answered the question right and guess what? I got him to look at me! Definitely noteworthy, right? But wait that's not all. Earlier this week I swiped his card in one of the computer labs. Very noteworthy!

As far as obsessions go for the roommates there are also many.

Like being so strangely obsessed with a male. (we'll call him albino man.) Yes everyone who comes in contact with this one specific roommate knows at least a little bit about this mysterious “albino man,” who isn't even really albino. (which is good because if he really was we couldn't call him that, it would just be mean, right?) simply sighting this rather light skinned fellow with white hair is enough to excite my dear friend. I have seen him twice this week when I wasn't with her. When I told her I saw albino man in the library she tried to keep calm and she did a pretty good job. On the inside though I could tell she was freaking out. “tell me everything.” “what was he doing” she said as calmly as she could. “was he with pretty girls” she said before I even started to answer her first question. Lets just say when albino man is spotted it is a good day in room 301! On a more serious note--you know when you just feel like you should be best friends with someone, because you get to know them so well. (in a creepy/ stockerish manner) and you just think, “if only he knew who I was.” (I sure hope I am not the only one, because that would be embarrassing. Extremely.) This must be why we are roommates. And thank to the goodness we have each other to confide in.

Another one for the books is tabloid reading. Who knew one individual could have so much knowledge in this department? I mean really, celebs are dead to men. (why would I care about someone who has no idea I even exist?) This next roommate could rattle off to you everything from Kim Kardashians wedding to the recent breakups to the “did you know Ashton Kutcher cheated on his wife!” (well he did, and now he has a love child.) See it is even rubbing off on me, the person who has never even touched or gotten close enough to breathe on a PEOPLE magazine.

The obsessions could go on and on since I have so many roommates. Here are a few more. Calves, jungle fever, turbo jam, taking photos, and um RYAN GOSLING?

Why do Women have so many obsessions you may ask? I have no freakin idea! Sorry folks. My guess is that it is something to occupy our minds, give us self gratification, or simply just give us a good story to tell.

My thoughts on COLLEGE

dear kid in the front, please stop asking stupid questions. I can't bare to see the teachers face in shock due to your stupidity again. Love, me

Never wear WHITE pants ice blocking.

It might be a good idea to EAT breakfast and pack a lunch if you're going to be gone from 7-5. (in my case it was a good thing it was taco Tuesday....made up for missing 2 meals!)

Attend TACO Tuesday!

check your online assignments before you have already MISSED 2.

when you're sick CALL your older brother he will give you every medicine possible! (pretty much just call him for anything!)

If your friends have a washer and dryer USE them. Even if it means you make them dinner.

Avoid EARLY morning classes like the plague!! (too late)

only drive on campus when you have to, people are EVERYWHERE.

Institute will CHANGE your life.

Facebook makes EVERYTHING look glamorous.

Careful who you hang out with....they could BECOME your best friends.

Sometimes in church me and my roommate sing until we both hit a high note and everyone else goes low. (happened twice) then we STOP singing.

If you wanna make friends invest in a mannequin head. People WILL love you!

The walls at rich hall are not the strongest...they may BREAK.

You find out WEIRD things when you facebook stalk. (we try to avoid it)

The mere thought of FREE food for a college student is like Christmas morning.

True aggie night is NOT all that it's cracked up to be.

If you are trying to hide something, hide it really WELL. (I guess we're predictable considering the boys always find it.)

Seven people on a couch anaconda SQUEEZING each other during a scary movie is the greatest thing ever.

I’m comforted to know that I’m not the only one who eats CAKE batter....and that people will share it with me.

Ross is probably the GREATEST store ever.

Don’t come in last. Ever. It's not the best of all the game, you WILL get a pie thrown in your face.

BELTING it too Kelly Clarkson may cause a temporary loss to the voice.

Star gazing is cool and BLINDING!

Running in circles in a huge elevator does NOTHING.

G.N.O's don’t exist in college....boys always crash them.

Thinking about meeting the people in our apt.

girl who gave talk today. WE like you. Can we be friends?

Ultimate aggie? Consider it done. Or wait....what does that mean?

COLORS have never been so secretive until now.

2 words. THE LIST

falling down the stairs sucks. Falling down the stairs twice in the same day is just EMBARASSING. (heels suck)

“GIRLS in front keep breathing!”-girl we don't like to be told what to do, Thank you.

Yes shelly we will do ANYTHING to look like you! (after birthing 4 children) it's upsetting how hot she is!

Trying to FIND out someones last name for FB stalking purposes shouldn't be that hard. You think that type of information would come up on a date...right?

Dorm full of boys plus 7 pets. I don't think that's ALLOWED.

I THINK we have pets. Never seen em.

Cookie dough and dance party. Sign me up!

If I hear “moves like Jagger” one more time. We're going to throw ky's computer out the window!

Hand shake?? Eric and Dylan YOU'RE so on!

there is nothing worse then when your roommates wont let you make popcorn anymore. (it wasn't THAT bad!)

Rm 301 theme:

“so you agree, you think you're really pretty?” you betcha!

Rm 301 phrases

"like would I?" like ya!

"it's a little bit more awkward now"

"guys, i'm Mormon"


LOVE always and forever, MEGAN and the ROOMIES! 

Life goes on

Note to the gentle reader: This post will be enhanced by playing the following song in the background as you read. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UzeAkQQxbEo

"Life goes on", or so they say. But is it really a life worth living after certain key losses? Who are they to tell you that anyway, speaking as though they knew your pain or even felt a similar sorrow. My life was changed several years ago, at a very key time in my life. During those tough years of high school, I felt lost, alone, confused, and often longed for ways to fill that emptiness. Many youths of my time were content to console themselves with drugs, alcohol, or less than desirable female companionship. I, however, found something that filled my void as well as my stomach. Through a life-changing friend, I was introduced to my gateway drug, a delicious deep-fried Mexican style dinner at a price I was more than willing to pay. My Bajio fixes became legendary, meeting the needs of body and soul. It quickly became one of my new best friends, a friend that seemed to know just where to find me.

I was initially nervous to serve an LDS mission, but not for some of the reasons you might suspect. I wasn't too worried about giving up my favorite music, pastimes, or video games as other sometimes are. Among my concerns was being separated from my dear companion who had so richly blessed me during my struggling high school years. How could I live apart from Bajio after being so abundantly provided for by Her bounteous arm? Another thing they say is that the Lord does provide and He will prepare a way. And thus it happened in my case. Taking it on faith that all would be well, I accepted the call to serve in Indiana. My introduction to the food world of Indiana was something less than divine; actually borderline demonic. My missionary companion decided it would be a great start to my service for us all to venture in to the local White Castle. I almost left my mission and returned home after that meal. The whole state was not so backward in culinary taste, however, as I was blessed to serve in a small town in southern Indiana in a beautiful area of God's country. At this same time, there were those special men and women being inspired from above to franchise Bajio, emanating from the beautiful Wasatch mountains and beyond. While thus faithfully engaged in the work, I accepted an invitation to work with my district leader in his area of labor. I met him in his larger, college town driving the many miles to his home.

That's where I saw Her again for the first time in many months, in a place where I had nearly abandoned all hope of ever seeing Her again. I am ashamed to admit it, but in the months before, I had stopped hoping for Her, realizing my only way forward was to leave Her behind; a sacrifice in the service. I wept graciously inside, but outwardly expressed in a casual tone to the older missionary that this restaurant might be a good option for lunch. I reasoned that it was centrally located, had a high person-to-area ratio, and mentioned the fact that I had seen it in a possibly inspired vision the night before. He nonchalantly conceded that I made a good point, informing me that for college-aged students anything on the menu was only $5. My heart literally grew warm, prompting a fleeting fear of infarction, at the thought of receiving twice as much sustenance for the same monetary investment. I was truly blessed that day and realized that miracles do indeed happen in our day. I recall sharing a more powerful than normal testimony with many we talked with that day of this newly reaffirmed truth. With my mission now saved, I was able to continue and finish the work each day, receiving occasional Bajio hits that kept me going.

On returning home to Utah, I found that all seemed well with my favorite place. However, there was a nagging feeling that Bajio might not be doing so well. Kind of like a sickly show horse that just can't trot like he used to. More than once, I was among the only patrons gratefully eating in their grand dining area. I tried to convince myself that this was likely because I ate there at late hours; their lunch crowd was what kept them afloat I reasoned. My life continued, and She was always there, stalwart as ever but being manipulated behind the scenes. Bajio provided one of the first meals I shared with my beautiful wife Chelsey, as well as giving us a place to entertain her out of town relatives as they visited. It was during this last visit that we encountered the horrible news.

As we proceeded to order, we inquired of the chef what had happened to the Draper Bajio location. She regretfully informed us that Top management had decided to transform all current locations into another, shoddy low-quality restaurant. The Bajio locations were to be phased out and replaced. My horrible prediction had finally been realized; so ironic I thought how again the popular opinion of the people could be so wrong. It hadn't worked in Communist Russia or with Fascist Germany. People simply do not desire what is best for them. As a student of psychology and history, I was not surprised, but deeply troubled by the realization that humanity could not make wise decisions and the pursuant destruction of society this would ultimately lead to.

Resigned to a world without Bajio, I return to my introduction. "Life goes on". While it may be true that we continue breathing after something tragic like this happens, we are actually somewhat deadened inside. And contrary to popular advertising and beauty ads which idolize the outside or appearance as what's real, it's what's inside that matters. Apparantly the management of Bajio had a soul that died long ago in order to make such a tragic decision, for their insides are likely blacker than a buried coffin. Maybe I can inquire if there is room for one more.

Coming soon, Part 2, the redemptive conclusion

the unexpected

Earlier this summer the fam and I were enjoying a nice picnic. pizza...volleyball I mean the whole nine yards. The whole family was together on this particular day which is rare considering Justin never comes home! (joke) so everyone was home and we planned a special family outing to the park. everything was going great until we started playing kick-ball. My 5 year-old sister Kennadee was trying to learn the rules (which i can imagine is a lot for a little girl to take in) after I got her out on 1st base she ran away crying. So we started trying to play again...(which was hard considering there were only 5 people playing total) as we were beginning to got restless with this game that was obviously not working because i mean you can only have so many "ghost runners" Just as everyone i'm sure was thinking "wow this is lame". suddenly something amazing happened, we turned our heads to see a Giant polar bear trudging up the steep hill on Wasatch blvd. Still wondering what it was...i shouted "lets go run to it, i bet they're giving out coke or something!" oh ya and this giant mobile polar bear played music to...sweet elevator music! so me and my little sisters started coming with me to get a better view of it. (no one else would come with me) as we got to the sidewalk of the park we started waving, and then it pulled over right into the church parking lot next to the park. there were 2 middle aged men operating this giant bear and started waving at us to come over. I thought for a moment and then ran back to get my dad...because i was scared to go by myself of course! soon everyone else followed and one-by-one all the girls started hopping on this monstrous thing. so it wasn't a coca cola bear and it wasn't giving out free coke.(dang it) but it was the most unexpected memorable happening on this family outing. thank you giant polar bear-for letting us ride you.

and Ethan was laughing for the first time in public...pretty sure.

Collections

How many of you took it upon yourselves to start a collection of some sort during your early years? Let me guess, you had a rock collection! Now you may be surprised that I guessed so easily but soon enough you will realize why it is a given. The thought of my own childhood collections came into consciousness this past week as the kids at work put together their time machine craft. My co-worker decided feathers would be a fun add-on and as my eyes met the colorful array of feathers sprawled out on the table, it took me back to my feather collecting days. I had long ones and short ones, fuzzy ones and silky ones, solid ones and striped ones... but why in the world would a child choose feathers? I will tell you why because they were free and you could find them anywhere and everywhere. Yeah pretty disgusting and I'm not really sure why my mom let me keep a whole slew of germ infested bird sheddings in our home. I guess is wasn't worth a fight. Now once I realized how easy feathers were to come by, I was even more exhilarated to learn how easy it would be to collect rocks. The only downfall to rocks was their weight. Transport could be a little tricky but this is when I discovered a new use for my little red wagon. It was the greatest thing since sliced bread! I even took the liberty of picking out my neighbor's finest for my new collection. The collection grew quite rapidly too, well for about a week, until my mom realized the source of my new additions and made me take them all back. I'm sure my neighbor was relieved to have her landscaping back in tact. I quickly discovered too that rocks were pretty much little kids' version of "sports cards." Hey, I will trade you this gigantic one for that sparkly one! O those were the days when everything was simple and carefree. I think it was first or second grade when I finally started to move up in the realm of collecting. I began collecting trolls. You remember those? A cross between an alien and a gnome with crazed out hair. It was all about the hair. I remember getting so much pleasure out of rearranging my troll shelf daily; I was so proud of them. Weird I know... but back to the rock collection. If you never had one growing up, you really missed out. All readers stay tuned in for my next blog which will cover the neti pot kit! I'm out.

Used Car Lot Revisited

I am ashamed to admit this is my first post for Used Car Lot and I feel it only appropriate if I share the ironic reason that possessed me to write this week. As many of you may know, the Hewlett family has a wonderful get-away cabin tucked way back in the Uintas just past Kamas. As Mike and I pulled up to the cabin this past Saturday evening, in our tardiness, we were surprised to see such a full lot of cars on the front lawn. Well, it wasn't this alone that triggered my memory of the long lost blog the family started a couple years back. What brought it home was Kim's words as I approached the door in the event of leaving for the derby. A group of us were discussing driving arrangements and Kim said well you guys have a whole lot of used cars to chose from. Then it hit me USED CAR LOT! The name of our Hewlett blog is quite fitting in many ways. The family continues to grow and each of us, quite broken in, have something incredible and unique to contribute to the whole. I was quite pleased to get on and see so many posts... and good posts might I add. They have done a fine job in eliciting quite a few laughs from me.